I am told I first smiled when you whistled at me. Although I don’t have a visual memory of you whistling to me as a baby, I have a felt sense of it. I can imagine the whole scenario vividly, and what I cannot imagine, I have photographs to fill in the gaps.
I imagine you looking over me in the hospital crib, apprehensive of picking me up lest you break me. I imagine you being in awe of this small thing that you created with Aai. I can feel your excruciating need to do something constructive for this small thing that has come into the world. I can feel your agony of wanting to give it a better life, build a better world. Maybe that’s when you decided to whistle. Because what else could be done for this baby in that moment? Maybe you thought, “let me see if I can get her to smile at least. If she smiles, I’ll know it’s going to be ok”.
The whistle still rings in my ears. After all these years, I remember it. I remember the variations to it too. One that was soft, one that was shrill, one that sounded like a policeman’s whistle. On countless occasions you would whistle the policeman’s whistle on the road and I would look around trying to find the source of the sound only to find you grinning at me. I remember jumping up and down excitedly, wanting you to whistle on the road to confuse the people on the street. You would do it too. Our private prank. Now, thinking back, I realize that I learnt your unabashed abandon to what the world thinks of you, I imbibed it and on countless occasions, it has been my savior.
But that soft whistle was always my favorite. Maybe because that was our first conversation. It was filled with promises. Or so it seems. And now, as I look back to the life you led, you fulfilled each one. Maybe the road wasn’t the greatest, the path was treacherous, but each and every promise made; of protection, of parting wisdom, of sharing, of building me up, of independence, of instilling values that will guide me through it all, of showing me the world; was fulfilled. I got your resilience. I got your quiet reserve. I got your humor, albeit it’s quite dark! I got your values. I got your ability to let go. I got your ability to comfort anyone. I got your gift of finding joy and hope in any situation. So, cheers to that.
Let us toast to a job well done. You did good, Baba. And I hope I did too…
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