Lang Leav is known worldwide for her poetry. There is hardly any reader who has probably not come across her writing in some form and loved it. Her poetry resonates with everyone and is known to make a connect. I am no different. So when her debut novel released, I was dying to get my hands onto a copy. I bought the book a few months back and I finally got around to reading it this month (because my TBR pile is never ending).
“Your first love isn’t the first person you give your heart to—it’s the first one who breaks it.”
School is almost out for Audrey, but the panic attacks are just beginning. Because Audrey told a lie and now her classmate, Ana, is dead. Just as her world begins to spin out of control, Audrey meets the enigmatic Rad—the boy who could turn it all around. But will their ill-timed romance drive her closer to the edge?
This is how the summary reads on Goodreads. The story begins with Ana’s funeral and Audrey experiencing a panic attack. To anyone who has gone through or is going through depression and/or anxiety, this book could be extremely triggering. On the other hand, it could also be extremely cathartic. Or it could be both, like it was for me.
To me, there were so many points in the story where it almost felt like Lang Leav could read my mind. Innumerable experiences, feelings, thoughts that I went through as a young adult were described here with great clarity and sensitivity. Sometimes, you don’t have the words to explain what you’re feeling and then you come across a book that does it for you. On most occasions, this book was it.
Having said that, Leav is definitely a much better, distinguished poet than she is a fictional writer. It almost felt like there was some distance between her and the characters; that they did not (sometimes) come straight from the heart. I don’t know if I am the only one, but it is a different experience when I find an author who speaks to me on a different, emotional level. This book did that in parts. However, it failed to go that extra mile for me. The story was not novel in many ways and sometimes if fell short of my expectations.
However, if I was given the option of not working and reading this book in one sitting, I would have taken it up. But alas, I had to be an adult and juggle things while I read. Every free moment was spent with this book in hand and it will be a long time before Audrey’s story leaves my mind.
Note of Caution: If you get triggered, please do not feel like you HAVE to finish this book. Keep it down and walk away.
A 4 STARS read for me.
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